Noordin Top: Valentine’s Day Darling

Noordin Top

Legendary war correspondent Sheikh Ya’erbuti has devoted his inaugural Darling of the Year Award to Jemaah Islamiyha acolyte and celebrity bomber Noordin Mohammad Top.

The award, announced on Valentine’s Day, was made posthumously after Noordin was gunned down by Indonesian authorities last year following an international man hunt and a very merry dance.

“Not just a terrorist but a lover of men, this made Noordin a worthy choice for this award,”

Ya’erbuti said while receiving Valentine’s Day wishes from his legions of fans. “He was a true romantic.”

Following his death a September autopsy revealed Noordin was sodomized, and often.

“There is an anomaly in Noordin’s anus because it is shaped like a funnel,” said Mun’im Idris, a forensic pathologist from the University of Indonesia. He was also was quoted as saying. “It indicated that somebody had sodomized him.”

Mun’im was part of the team that conducted the autopsy on the Malaysian-born terrorist who was blamed for a string of attacks carried out in the name of Islam.

Mun’im on Thursday said that Noordin’s there were obvious signs he had been sodomized over a long period of time.

“His anus wouldn’t have taken such a funnel shape if he had been sodomized only a handful of times,” Mun’im told reporters.

Other experts speculated that Noordin’s condition may have been caused by concealing explosives.

Hiding explosives inside the body was a method used by a terrorist who attempted to kill Saudi Arabian Prince Mohamed Bin Nafey in August 2009 while the Underpants bomber who attempted to down a plane last Christmas Day had impressed authorities by taking such innovations to another level.

Looking elegant in white and flanked by his support crew, including the ever-loyal man-servant Waqil (EDS: ONE NAME), Ya’erbuti added that Noordin would always be remembered for what he was – a true darling — and would prove a difficult act to follow for next year’s award.

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Luke Hunt is a foreign correspondent, author and occasional photographer who has covered much of Asia fr the last 30 years.

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